Wednesday randomness…

*I’m actually starting to Tweet more than Facebook … I think it helps that I have more friends on Twitter than before, so someone is actually reading my tweets, ha ha 😉

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*Now that the dust has settled in my life (literally!!), it’s time to move my business and work into high gear. I have some major goals that I want to accomplish in the next 3 months, so I’d love my friends and family to support me in any way they can. Xoxo…

*Speaking of dust, I still haven’t done the 2nd coat of mud on the kitchen wall … and I haven’t painted the wall going downstairs. 3 weeks til our acreage-warming!!

*I now have FOUR photo shoots booked for the fall! Yesssss!! It’s been a long time, and I am really looking forward to shooting something other than my own children and house :o)

*I can’t get an iPhone 😦 Well, at least not until Telus gets their new 4G network up sometime next year. I keep telling Leith to work harder on those installs, but I don’t think my priorities and his are all that aligned. Boo. It’s $640 to buy out of my current contract to move to Rogers/Fido. I guess I can wait…

*Speaking of phones, none of the numbers on Leith’s phone work! So, unless you’re in his address book, he ain’t callin’ you!

*My baby sister is cutting my hair today for the first time!! I am so excited 🙂 🙂 Her boss (?) is coloring it tomorrow, IF I can find a sitter … my stand-bys are ALL busy!

*I’m getting ready to knock a BIG goal off my list of 101 in 1001! By big, I mean expensive, not hard-to-come-by. But still! It’s one that I wasn’t sure if it would be realistic in my given timeframe…

*Thinking back on it, four photo shoots really means I deserve a d5000. Just sayin’.

*The bugz are going for their 18-month shots tonight. I am taking them by myself. Pray for me??

*Quick shout-out to Mama Sherrie for babysitting late last night for me. It’s so good to have good friends to help out 🙂

*We fiiiiiiinally got our renovation draw from the bank, so today I am wiping out $35,000 in credit card debt in one fell swoop! Yessss! Too bad they could just tack on an extra few thousand to get rid of my student loan…

F/B creeps me out

“The first step to getting what you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.”

That’s just it. You know what you want and you’re going to get it. Nothing’s going to stop you from fullfilling your dreams and desires. Just remember not everything is going to go exactly as planned.

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Sometimes, Facebook quizzes really do have something of value hidden under all the “what’s ur solemates sign?” nonsense….

Fully loaded Gratitudes

Wow. What a week!!
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(What wonderful alliteration!!)

*2 happy bugz, eating their Eggos and strawberries in happy silence :o)

*That only one tree snapped in our yard (way over in the slough) in the insane windstorm last night!

*10 minutes in the driver’s seat of a Bentley:

*All the times that the bugz have leaned in to see what fell between their high chairs and conked heads!! LOL!! Twice the entertainment, every day 🙂 🙂

*The incredible, awesome power that is Constance! She hauled me, Sherrie, Andy, & 4 full-size car seats to Costco AND picked up a full load of groceries. That’s right.

*Finally being able to find acoustic versions of 3am by matchbox twenty and Poker Face by Lady Gaga, and finding my iPod charger so I can listen to them on the go!!

*Realizing that Kit-kat is saying, “Fork!” and not what I thought she was saying. Whew!!

*Ducks, eagles, and the awesome power of John C Maxwell!! Wow, wow, wow… Oh, and 2nd row seats for the entire thing! 2nd row, centre.

*Thursday in general, but especially for web technology that allows me to tune in to work AND be home with my bugz. What an amazing job!

*Taking an opportunity at the Sawmill, and getting over my fears. One baby step at a time!

*Can I just pause for a moment and give a shout out to my amazing team at work??

*An afternoon coffee date with Julia, at a critical moment in my life!

*A request for another photo shoot! Yaa!!!

*A good lesson on rational versus irrational thought patterns, and learning about how we think in a physiological sense. Wake-up call.

*An awesome visit with Sku, and the safe recovery of hidey-pants Chinook!!

*Booking our (incredibly cheap!) trip to Victoria, for some much needed R&R!

*Finding a stainless steel, step-lid garbage can at Superstore for only $27.99!

Have a great week!!

"B"

Hello, lover:

Why, yes, that is me, in the driver’s seat of a 2006 Bentley.

Why, yes, it’s real.

No, I didn’t drive it. I was too scared. But the kind, gentle-hearted owner of this beautiful vehicle told me that I could. So when my agency owner sets a goal, and I reach it, I will drive this beautiful vehicle.

My goal? To become an agency owner myself. And in order for this to fall in the parameters of my list of 101 Things, it must happen before March 29, 2011.

I will do it, because dear Readers, those 10 minutes were the 10 most luxurious moments of my life to this date. And all of it was made possible by the amazing career that I have, and the amazing people on my team.

Thank you, so very much, to Cameron, Julia & of course Mr. Cheema for making this evening so spectacular. In the same way that Sku’s generosity has touched my life, so have your actions tonight. This has been an unbelievable week of discovery, of faith in the universe and light in my heart. So much is becoming clear to me, and a drive and passion I have never known is boiling up inside of me.

There are great and amazing things on the horizon. The only thing missing up until now has been me.

And now, I believe.

In ME.

Autopilot

These last few weeks have driven me into that unfortunate state of Autopilot. You know, the state where you have to blink twice before you even remember where you are?
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And while we all know how easy it is to fall into that trap, I am here to tell you that it is unbelievably hard to snap out of.

Here’s what I haven’t been doing:

*running

*eating well

*drinking water

*sleeping well

*relaxing

*building my business (especially in a new area with little representation)

*nurturing my relationships

*strengthening my mind

*loving me

*going about my day with energy and enthusiasm

Here’s what I have been doing:

*eating Ritz crackers and hummus

*drinking wine, beer and way too much coffee

*sleeping poorly

*aching from those poor nights’ sleep on a mattress I hate

*letting people fall to the wayside

*did I mention drinking too much coffee?

*skipping breakfast

*forgetting what I need to do and where I need to be

*resenting becoming this person 😦

Ugh. Not a pretty picture. That, my dear bloggie friends, is what stress can do to a person. Hey, I have even used TV as a babysitter for my 18-month old children more than once this past week. I feel like all the roommates from Knocked Up, minus the illegal drug use.

So here’s where I stand: emotionally, I am drained, but I am doing my best to figure out how to nurture those relationships that I feel I have neglected. Physically, I am trying to hash out a plan to take better care of my body. Organizationally … well, I’m not there yet. I had an incredible meeting yesterday afternoon that has me pumped, but I am just not there yet. Does that make sense? I know exactly what I need to do, but I need to proceed with caution because I am feeling very susceptible to failure right now.

Poor me.

Not that this is meant to be a pity party post. I’m just letting it all out into the wind, so that one day I can look back on this bump in the road and see the perspective I’ve gained from it. We study our history to learn from our mistakes.

I did have one huge turning point yesterday though, and it begs mention. I won’t go into detail, so as to preserve the sanctity of how huge and amazing this was, but I will share with you this:

The universe does provide for you.

It may happen in a totally random way. A person may just be taking a leap towards their own goals, and in crossing your path, they may take an action that forever changes you life. A dear, dear friend of mine did that for me yesterday. I know that she has no idea how much her gesture has meant to me, but it has refueled my belief system. It has proven that things are meant to be, and that I am destined for great things in this world. She has renewed my faith in blind faith, and has helped to edge me off course through the remainder of these autopilot days. I have her letter to read when I am feeling despondent, and what that letter represents gives me hope and strength that I will get off this autopilot setting and do amazing things for the world and for my family.

I know that it will take time. It takes time to tap into your autopilot setting, so it makes sense that it takes time to turn it off. It is a step outside a comfort zone that has become far too comfortable despite the uncomfortable situation we’ve been in.

And thanks to those around me, I will keep taking steps. I will continue to grow and take my charge of my own course.

Saturtudes

Lol…
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So I’m getting back on the Gratitude wagon by posting on a Saturday morning, instead of a Sunday that turns into Thursday that turns into the last 4 weeks!!

*This view, from my back deck on a sunny, +25 degree September afternoon as I read a book and drank coffee in the silence of the bugz’ afternoon nap:

*Kit-kat’s first molar has broken through, for a total of 8 teeth. Hopefully she will be a happy bug now. I am glad that we have gotten through most of teething x 2 without drugging the bugz too much. Their amber necklaces worked wonderfully until one broke (& I have not gotten it fixed; it’s on the list!!), but I have barely resorted to using any kind of pharmaceutical, and for that I am grateful. (phew!)

*We have officially “moved in” upstairs. That’s not to say that my life is in any way organized at the moment, or that there aren’t 10 million boxes still to be unpacked, but we are upstairs living in this house of dreams!

*My bathrooms are useable!! Wooo!! I had a shower in my own house yesterday!

*For the incredible support of our family and our friends, especially the Ellis’- they literally left the door open for us throughout this entire adventure and we are so thankful for that!

*For the ease of booking my AirMiles flight to Winnipeg this November – wow! More customer service like that is needed 😉 I guess at the same time, I should mention that the Delta hotel reservation line was also most kind and helpful!

*For Shawn (or Shaun, or Sean?), the random stranger whose friend found Leith’s GPS. He is in the area, so he set it to “home”, tracked our house and hand-delivered it last night! His friend found it while cycling on Campsite Road, and neither of them decided to keep the $400 piece of equipment. Wow, wow, wow. I was so beyond shocked at this amazing act of kindness and generosity. We seriously thought we were in the market for a new Garmin until yesterday. Wow.

*For a fresh, clean furnace. Maybe we’ll all get rid of our stuffy heads…

*For text messaging, so that I can keep in touch with Gramma while her and Grampa galavant all over the country 😉 And on that note, for having grandparents who are so technologically savvy on both sides of the family!

*For bugz that sleep through the night in their new, big bedroom. They had zero problem adjusting to their new digs!

*For our firepit. I love sitting out by the fire whenever the mood strikes. Even when there are 30′ flames shooting out of the bus shelter…lol…more to come on that little adventure in fire safety later…

*For a new kind of help, and the realization of understanding…

*For 2 photo shoots booked for this fall, and hopefully a few more. My artistic heart needs some TLC (and Momma needs the $$ for a new/unnecessary camera upgrade :))

*That our bank draft for the renovations will be in my sweaty little hands by mid-week, and we can pay off almost all of our credit cards that have been racked up in the last month!

*For a meeting with Cam & Julia tomorrow – I know it hasn’t happened yet, but I am excited & grateful for all their support (and friendship!)

*For a visit tonight with my Sku and her puppy Chinook! Our first real guest at The Acreage!! Yaaa!

*For all the babysitting my mother in law has offered while we have been up to our ears in insanity; I haven’t told her that she isn’t allowed to go back to work yet 😉

*For a couple of sweet messages from a couple of my dancers as the season kicks off – I miss you girls!!!!

So much more … it’s hard to remember all that I am grateful for. There has been more to be thankful for in this last month than I could ever write down. At the same time it has been very difficult to take the time to actually stop and appreciate things, so I need this list to be up and running again to help me keep perspective.

Before/After:

Oh, glorious day!!

I’ve finished painting my bathrooms! We have a useable shower!

Oh, happy day!!

We’ve come such a long way!

From this:

To this:

And from this (shudder):

To this:

From this yuck:

To this Ikea masterpiece:

From blah:

To serenity:

From understated:

To excited!:

From pine:

To normal (ha ha!!!):

Obviously, we still have a long way to go: I need to get my bathroom sinks and toilets installed this weekend, we have to paint and hang the doors, we need to put the baseboards on and we need to finish moving in. We need to put some decor on the walls, hang a picture here and there and create some character.
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But all in all, it’s now our home! We live here, and life will always be good in this house.

Srsly?

How on Earth did we get from this:

to this:

I don’t recall anyone asking me for permission…
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18 months!

This post is ridiculously late … like many things in my life, it just got pushed further and further back. I am going to take this post as a sign that things are starting to reach our new normal!

At 18 months:

*The bugz have tolerated our moving and renovation project exceptionally well! There have been a few up-all-nights and many, many tantrums, but overall I am very proud of them. They are just like any other 18-month old, except that they have been picked up and plopped down in the middle of chaos 😉

*They are sharing a crib, and have for nearly a month while we finish cleaning upstairs. Hopefully, they will be in their new nursery by this weekend, which I guess is actually a toddlers’ room now!

*They loooove to play with all the balls we found in the woods, and are learning to pass and catch

*They are still in their rear-facing seats. I haven’t had them weighed since their one-year visit (bad momma!!)

*On that note, I still haven’t taken them for their 18-month shots! Yikes… I really, really need to book those right away

*They do not eat baby food at all anymore, and I do not “feed” them anything – they feed themselves, unless we are somewhere with only applesauce and no high chair. Then they get fed by my to minimize the mess!!

*I can’t even begin to list the number of words they use now!! Kit-kat is definitely more chatty than C-boo, but C-boo says, “Oh. Dear!” and it is hilarious 🙂 🙂 They are also becoming copycats. For bad words…

*A brief list: shower, cracker, juice, Auntie, Tay, Sherrie (can you guess where we’ve been spending time??), shoes, sock, truck, car, giraffe (I know!), diaper, crotch (classy, Kit-kat…), belly button, ears, eye, nose, mouth…etc etc

*Yes, Kit-kat knows where her crotch is and is very happy to tell you about it. Nice…

*Kit-kat is also obsessed with Momma’s CrackBerry and pretends to talk to Dada with anything she can put to her ear!

*They looooooove being outside and gathering leaves and “trees” (sticks). This move to the country will be so good for them 🙂

*Kit-kat’s spot is almost completely gone. People don’t notice it at all anymore

*They walk and run everywhere now!! In opposite directions!! Fun!!

*They give each other sister-kisses (which is basically a head-bunt!) and “share, share!” everything if you ask 🙂

*Kit-kat has 6.5 teeth and C-boo has 5 teeth. Teething + moving + strange bedroom with no ceiling tiles = screaming tantrums

*They love to play in the pantry, close the door and hide, and take all my cans of tomato paste out to play with!

*They are finally old enough to watch and pay attention to movies – this was a blessing when we were trapped in the basement while the renos were in full swing upstairs, and also when it was so scorching hot outside. It is fascinating to watch them watching and reacting to the characters onscreen! I still don’t believe in letting them watch TV, but I think that a movie as a treat once in awhile is okay. It keeps it interesting without rotting their brains 😉 They even watched Lilo & Stitch for 45 minutes straight!!

*They STILL fit 6-12 month clothes in the waist, but they wear mostly 12 month or 1T size clothing. Great-Gramma keeps sending absolutely adorable finds from the Fields store by the cabin. I don’t know how she does it – I can never find anything there!!

*Gramma D took them shoe shopping and we can officially say that C-boo wears size 4 and Kit-kat wears 4.5. I bought size 6 winter boots for $16 at Superstore for them, but I figure they will wear big socks and grow into them 😉

*They are such big girls now, even though they are still my smidgets. They are so sharp in so many ways! I cannot believe how mature they are, but they are still my little cuddle bugz

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Sick

…of dirty floors
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…of drywall dust

…of unfinished bathrooms

…of needing to borrow other people’s bathrooms, even though they are gracious and kind

…of dusty footprints

…of unfinished cupboards with no handles

…of temper tantrums: mine, his, theirs

…of lost patience

…of miscommunications

…of feeling as though I am the only person in the world who doesn’t understand how all things bank- or acreage- or renovation-related work

…of not having the energy or motivation to run

…of grubby, unbathed children

…of dust. Did I mention that already??

…of sharing a bedroom

…of not having a couch

…of sticky floors

…of waiting to hear

…of waiting for work to pick up

…of driving to town 3 times a day because I can’t remember enough at once to make one trip

…of all of this renovation nonsense.