Child of the Year

C-boo woke up at an obscene hour, begging for food and water. I shooed her out of my room with the promise that she could make her own breakfast. Then, I curled back up into my ball of early morning bliss.

Until Leith’s alarm went off on his work phone. In the kitchen. Loudly.

Stumbling out to turn it off, I saw C-boo wielding a steak knife, hacking away at an apple. I quickly scolded her and she put in away. I started about my routine, letting the dogs outside and feeding them. When I came back inside, a little voice chirped, “I’m making everyone surprise breakfast!!”

And indeed, she was:

I put butter on the Chex, and I opened the bag all by myself!!

I made you cereal, Mommy, so you wouldn’t have to go to Starbucks!

I cutted the apples with my teeth instead of a knife!!!

But the best?? The very BEST????

The coffee.

A cup was sitting at my place, half-full and warm. I looked around at the coffee pot, wondering how she’s poured out of a scalding hot pot without burning herself…let alone how she lifted it. Nope. Empty. The timer hadn’t started it yet.

Had she poured yesterday’s leftover coffee in my cup?? But it was warm…did she use the microwave? Nope…doesn’t know how…

And I put honey in your coffee too, Mommy!! And I lifted the thing, and boop boop boop! I pushed the buttons, and then I took the plastic out and put it in the garbage can!!

Sweet mother of pearl. MY KID TAUGHT HERSELF TO USE THE KEURIG MACHINE!!! My prayers have been answered!!

Granted, it was an apple cider k-cup, with lots of honey…but I had a few sips before I told C-boo she could share it with me 🙂

Can you believe that I am lucky enough to be blessed with this big-hearted child, beaming in my kitchen? Her only aspiration as a grown-up is to be a gluten-free baker so she can make better treats for people. I think she’s on her way!

And she’s my kid.

The house that Magz built

4 short years ago, we discovered The Acreage. It was in disrepair, but it was love at first sight. For 3 weeks in August 2009, we poured blood, sweat, and tears (lots of tears!!!) into a huge renovation project.

The only thing untouched was the basement.

Until now.

Until years of pet stains and children’s accidents (past and present) left an odour that permeated every nook and cranny, wafting up the stairs to greet anyone who walked through the front door.

Until Thursday, when my darling children concocted some psychotic version of Cinderella that basically left our TV room looking like a set from the Titanic.

Until I finally screamed, “Enough!!!!!” and started ripping up the 1970s orange carpet with all the hatred of a woman whose nostrils have been scorned by the faint odour of cat urine for the last time.

I ripped, I swore, I tore. I dug and scraped at 30-year old disintegrated underlay. I scoured the internet for quick fixes (there are none) and prodded the Rona associates for solutions (they had none).

I calculated square footage and flooring costs. I calculated the number of months before I could begin to fathom affording said costs.

I hauled hunks of orange travesty upstairs, heaving them into a pile of orange hatred on my lawn.

Hillbilly retro is what they call this landscaping style…

And after three whole hours, I was nowhere near done. Nope. I had half the carpet torn up and about a tenth of the underlay scraped. I had blisters on my fingertips, feral children running wild on the main floor, and visions of ice cold beer served by this guy:

Alas, no ridiculously photogenic fireman. Just a whole lot of work left, and a suddenly better-smelling home.

At least my nostrils are happy.

Oops…

I seem to have a small problem this year.

You see, I promised I wasn’t going to plant a vegetable garden. After 3 years of mediocre results and uneaten salad greens, I was going to order some bulbs and roots from a fundraiser to start a perennial bed, and that was it.

I bought 2.5 yards of fresh garden mix and got the bed up to snuff:

For a few days, I was content. The plants were taking root, and the deer were visiting without eating.

Somewhere in the past two weeks…well…I forgot the last part of that promise.

And I developed a bit of a habit…

    

And then, it got worse…because someone got her cute nose where it didn’t belong!

So, I had to buy a new tomato plant (or three…). Also, I desperately needed mint…for mojitos…and I heard they had it HERE.

And they did!

 

But they also had all this:

Which became this:

Which turned into this:

 

And now I’m not allowed to go out by myself anymore…

Oops.