It’s been awhile…

How did I ever survive Leith’s long out-of-town work schedule before I had kids?? _uacct = “UA-4888259-1”;urchinTracker();

Oh, right: I didn’t have kids.

It’s been just over 24 hours since he left for a 2-3 week job north of Ft Nelson, BC.  I am staring longingly at the calendar, wondering if crossing the days off with big red “X”s would make the days fly by faster.  Probably not…

Babywearing: the only way to keep a tantum-filled C-boo calm last night…

Why can’t my bugz and I get along unsupervised?  They are the biggest temper-trigger I have, and I don’t want to spend the next 20 days in a constant state of flushed anger.  I am trying so hard to be patient and remember things from their perspective, but I am so tired of it.

Is it just their age, or is it just that there are two of them at the same age and stage?  I feel like one of them is always on the cusp of a meltdown over nothing.  And I know that it’s hard to be 3, and that they get frustrated easily and can’t express themselves.  And I know that I am modelling poor behaviour for them to learn from when I lose my patience and my temper.

We are caught in this endless cycle…I know that it has to come from me, but I can only seem to last so long before we reach a set back.  Once we hit that point, it all unravels so quickly and we are worse off than we started.

I want an answer.  I want a solution.  I want something that works on their level so that I can work on my level and fix this, so that we can survive somewhat peacefully for the next few weeks.  I have so much else on my mind right now that I need peace in my home.

I need peace in my home, regardless of the outside world of course!  But I don’t know how I can combat this emotional exhaustion and be a good parent all by myself.  All of my flaws are magnified when I don’t have Leith to hand off to.

Sorry for the doom-and-gloom post.  I’m feeling very overwhelmed right now.  I don’t want to be such an angry parent, and I don’t want my kids to grow up thinking that any of our behaviours are productive 😦

Ideas?